At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
