He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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