We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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