he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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