so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
