1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
