I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize