If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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