erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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