It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
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He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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