Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
