You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
