I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
