He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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