I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
