I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
