just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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