i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
