Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
