I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
