Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
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hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
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Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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