Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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