So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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