The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
