Yo dont text me then not text me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
