found the other keg... it's in the tree
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize