didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
