Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
