Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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