I would go down on you faster than GM stock
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
