So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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