We named our party play list daddy issues
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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