I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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