To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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