i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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