Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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