google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
