we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
