oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
