i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
