direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize