he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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