My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
