ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
