Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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