my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
