Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
