We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
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want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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