i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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