oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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