That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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