Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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