the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat