You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.