He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize