So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes