The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.