the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.