dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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