Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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