One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize