Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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