I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
