Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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