The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
People in love make me want to vomit
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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