I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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