if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
