shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
