were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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