miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
