I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize